While I’m sure the Gazelle is working wonders, I saw this and immediately thought of you:

Oh, I know the idea of twisting back and forth is probably a bit daunting for you, but I have faith that after a month or two, you’ll master it. Why, heck, since I myself know everything about everything, I’d even be happy to help you out, at least until you build up your confidence. That’s just the kind of person I am.
Then, this is what you have to look forward to:

Yes, you too will be able to stand around in your kitchen looking all manly and bare-chested, preparing a dinner that consists solely of fibrous tubers and large vegetables. Yum! Me, I’m going to add a disc to my workout routine as well, especially since I can apparently get even MORE fit and perfect merely by standing and laying around in suggestive, come hither poses while holding said disc.
