Thursday, March 1, 2007

Strength Training Advice

Dearest Carolyn,

You have most definitely asked for advice in the right place, I am most certain that some of my esteemed teammates will happily opine with their utmost expertise, but please allow me to help guide you in the proper direction.

First of all, I must disclaim that I have what some might refer to as a brutal strength training program, which I follow virtually every day. It is as follows:

First - I drag my butt out of bed every single day, upon successfully standing, I plod to the bathroom so I can shower. Exhausted, I stand in the shower and let the hot water run over my muscles to sooth them.

Secondly - I live on the 2nd floor, so I walk down the stairs each day, working my quads as I control my descent to the first floor. To make this more difficult, I carry a bag, which has a computer in it, amongst other things, to provide additional weight.

Third - I eat, all day long, this causes my stomach to work and it strengthens my jaws.

Fourth - I take the stairs when I get home, once again, carrying my bag, therefore strengthening my legs.

Fifth - I continue eating. For instance, I'm currently eating chips and guac (homemade btw). The trick is, and this really burns, you need to hold your arm out parallel to the ground and bend at the elbow, this works the bicep and deltoids. See, I'm thinking.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.