Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Hmm. All I'll say is that I really really really hope that he's clothed this time around. That wrestling scene in the movie - *shudder.*
Max, when you try out your wetsuit and go swimming, don't forget we need PICTURES! Hey, you can embarrass yourself like the rest of us, okay?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Well duh. If caramel and glazed sugar aren't important food groups, then what is? Other than the previously mentioned crust/bread, cheese, sour cream, etc.
I'm a little confused though by the wording - that having fewer carbs is supposedly an "improvement." We're athletes, people, ever hear of carb-loading?? I think that must have been a typo.
Even more shocking, that towering slice of triple-chocolate cake? That also is high in calories! Who knew? I did for one, which is why I don’t eat that stuff every day. Not even every other. Try, once in a great while? And, one doesn’t generally scarf down these foods solo. No, there’s this thing called “sharing” that happens, particularly with appetizers and dessert. So saying that the mini-pizza has the same number of calories as 18 cheeseburgers? Yawn. Don’t. Care.
These evil CSPI are the same idiots who made them take all the yummy buttery flavor out of movie popcorn, so now we get to pay $12 for a bucket of cardboard. I spit in your general direction, CSPI, and as a gesture of defiance to your fear-mongering, I’m going to have TWO megabags of cheez doodles today instead of just the usual one. And of course, unlike SOME people, I haven’t been scarfing down entire boxes of Girl Scout cookies, no sirree, not me. I have more self-control than that. Well, I also didn’t have any cookies, but that has changed, thank God, so now I too can throw caution to the wind and gobble down…..umm……I mean, now I can carefully integrate vast quantities of Thin Mints into my finely honed nutrition plan. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I’d also work on building my diet around the CSPI’s list of Top Ten Evil Foods you Should Never Eat, but it already reads like a typical day for me: chicken pie, Haagen-Dazs, cheesecake, burritos. All healthy stuff if you ask me, perfectly appropriate for elite triathlete training. And now that Krispy Kreme has come out with a whole wheat donut, I can add those too. Sweet!
Kona, here I come….
A movie so bad, it's brilliant! I remember watching Firefox as a child and being spellbound, as an adult however I watch with an ever increasing sense of hilarity, I think that Eastwood made this film with his tongue firmly in his cheek.The hi-jinks begin when a burnt out Vietnam vet is recruited to steal a new Russian jet, selected purely for his ability to speak Russian, he then proceeds to go to Russia, disguised as a drug dealer, who is already in the country (no passport control in the Rodina?) the poor old dealer is bumped off to the immortal line, "They have killed him Vasily, they have killed Mr Leon Spragg!" The scene is cut before Vasily's reaction can be noted, but it is probably hysterical laughter at his comrades accent. And speaking of accents, Clint walks about dressed in a soviet airbase, in a soviet uniform, and nobody even blinks at his American twang, the Firefox itself, far from being the superior warplane, looks like it was modelled on a pregnant duck, made by airfix and painted with a tin of cheap matt black paint. The rest of the film is a chase sequence, with the obligatory flashback, but needless to say that it all worked out OK! Not Clint's finest hour, but a good way to kill a couple of hours if you are bored!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Please watch this movie when you get a chance.... "Infernal Affairs"
A much, much, much better film.
Thank you for your time and patience
7:30 - the opening video kinda sucked.
7:36 - Ellen's monologue kinda sucked. A few funny parts. "just say you lived in a car, they love that." "America didn't vote for Jennifer Hudson on American Idol and she's here. And Al Gore, America did vote for him and he's here too, go figure." The gospel bit had no point.
7:45 - Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig. Good looking pair.
7:52 - Wil Ferrell, Jack Black & John C. Reilly. Funny. Ferrell: "Ryan Gossling, you're all hip and now, well I'm gonna break your hip, RIGHT NOW." Black: "I'm gonna do that gay coal minin' film with James Spader."
7:38 - Jaden Smith. Too damn cute.
8:10 - Hollywood Sound Effects Choir. More waste off time (but obviously, by this diary, you can see I have time to waste tonight).
8:17 - Jessica Biel and some little weenie presenting. Jessica: "... The Jazz Singer, the film that changed it all." Uh, changed what? I gotta say, I never once said "wow, that Jazz Singer sure changed it all." Neil Diamond? Ok, Jess, you been on a free fall since the left Seventh Heaven, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre didn't really work out (but I heard she was good in the magic movie). Hell, everyone's got a skill set, hers seems to be hangin' on A-list guys' arms. Jessica, btw, Derek Jeter dates A LOT.
8:21 - First Jackie Earle Haley shot. Holy crap, Kelly Leak has aged. "Let the kids play, let the kids play" chants the Astrodome. When they later showed the clip of him getting thrown out of the community pool in Little Children for being a sex offender, I thought "come on Jackie, go swim somewhere else and let the kids play."
8:23 - First upset, I thought Eddie was supposed to win. "Goonie fuckin goo goo," thinks Eddie.
8:25 - Mark Wahlberg talks to Ellen, who's oddly roaming the aisles like David Letterman in his audience. Mark's done great for himself, great actor, but he's always Marky Mark to me. Good vibrations, baby!! Ellen to Scorcese: "oh look, I have a screenplay." That was pretty funny.
8:26 - oh god. Interpretive dance again? I had a conversation about that recently maybe with Tasha. Bad memories of the year they tried it before, esp the one dancer who got a leotard wedgie during her dance.
8:30 - The Departed. Awesome flick. Brutally violent. Still can't figure out how Wahlberg got the supporting nomination over Nicholson.
8:35 - An Inconvenient Truth song. Damn, was hoping for an Al Gore interpretive dance.
8:36 - Leo and Gore pesenting. It looks like Al is 2 Leos wide. Let's check that out. Pause. Tape measure. On a 42" screen, Leo is 8" wide and Al is 12.5" wide.
8:36 - Jerry Seinfeld just got caught picking his nose.
8:47 - Ben Affleck presenting. While his buddy Matt was doing Bourne, Ben decided to do Reindeer Games. Nice move.
8:49 - Tom Hanks, so suave, so sophisticated. He plays great drama, yet at these shows when he's not in character he always seems to have this look in his eyes saying "wow, remember when Keaton got Batman and I got Turner and Hooch and The Money Pit? Where you now, Mike?"
8:59 - the Oscar Baby Bjorn was pretty good.
9:06 - Tom Cruise. He is insane. Let's see how this goes. Ok, that was clearly in-character for Tom. I was still half expecting the Oprah high five and a "woo hoo!!!" upon presenting the award.
9:11 - Ellen gives photography advice to Spielberg. Funny.
9:14 - Gwyneth. Maybe I shoulda named Ellie "Apple". Or "grape". Or "Coconut."
9:20 - Naomi Watts and Robert Downey. Nice Pair. Naomi plays a person on drugs very well (28 Grams). Robert plays a person on drugs very well (every Saturday night).
9:23 - Katherine Deniueve and Ken Watananbe. No humor here. Fast fwd.
9:29 - Clive Owen. Thought he should have gotten Bond role.
9:33 - Clooney. He is thinking "jeez, let's get through this show already, I got a party to get to."
9:36 - Jennifer Hudson wins. Clooney stands behind her during her speech and gazes at her ass thinking: "not a bad ass, a little bigger than I'm used to, but not bad."
9:44 - Seinfeld presents for documentary. "... these 5 incredibly depressing movies ..."
9:50 - Clint Eastwood. Obscure reference here, but I loved when Dennis Haysbert (President Palmer in 24) in Absolute Power begged for mercy and Clint said in his raspy Dirty Harry hushed tone "I'm fresh out". Also, fond memories of him seeming nauseous at the murder scene in Dirty Harry and another cop asked whether it was getting to him. Clint: "I can deal with all the blood, the gore, the violence, but you know what makes me really sick? You're eating ketchup on your hotdog."
9:56 - Celine. Wouldn't it be great if Leo stood on his chair with arms spread wide a la Roberto Benigni while she sang and yelled "I'm king of the world!!! Does her jaw really need to quiver that much? Ennio Marcone speech. Nice foresight, Academy, to not have subtitles on the speech.
10:06 - Hugh Jackman and Penelope Cruz. There was a day I'd be more excited to see Penelope, but really, I have little boys and, holy crap, THAT'S WOLVERINE!!!
10:09 - Ellen: "I see Jack every time I come on stage smiling and laughing, and it's so great, but then I saw him standing in the corner backstage by himself smiling and laughing." That was really funny and nobody seemed to laugh.
10:11 - Tobey and Kirsten. See above 10:06 re Wolverine. SPIDERMAN!!!
10:20 - JLo gets the Clooney-esque single presenter gig? Why does she deserve that? oh, I get it. Nobody could fit close enough to her for the camera to capture both, booty considered.
10:28 - Travolta presenting, thinks "Quentin, come on man, I'm free, what you got for me? And really, why did you have to kill off Vincent Vega? Pulp Fiction coulda been a franchise"
10:35 - Will Smith. Our second 80's teen rapper to become a star. Where are you Vanilla Ice?
10:44 - what the hell was Jack Nicholson doing standing backstage leering at the woman who won editing? That was weird.
10:45 - The Dead Montage. Always interesting, especially the controversies of who they forgot. My commentary:
- Glenn Ford - Mr. Kent in Superman the Movie (again, I'm all about superheroes)
- Bruno Kirby - a whole generation just saw the Godfather clip and said "When Harry Met Sally and City Slickers weren't his first movies?"
- Peter Boyle - shoulda shown a Taxi Driver clip. Or Johnny Dangerously. You know, Johnny Dangerously with Michael Keaton, bigger star than Tom Hanks at the time
- Jack Palance - "I crap bigger than you." I actually used that line once at the office
- Jay Presson Allen, screenwriter, with the Liza Minelli still shot. Used to be hot. So weird to see her now. She's like Tom Cruise crazy, but Tom still looks good. Poor Liza
- Robert Altman was the headliner. Notable, but not a huge year for death.
10:52 - Philip Seymour Hoffman with a very creepy "hi" to start his presentation.
10:54 - Kate Winslett nominated for the movie about Hinsdale, Illinois. Will they need to start calling the winner Dame Helen now?
11:01 - Reese Witherspoon presenting, sending mind-waves to Ryan Phillippe, "you like my dress, babe"
11:04 - Forest Whitaker. Jefferson from Fast Times at Ridgemont High has come a long way. Jeez, everyone from that movie's gone huge and oscar-worthy: Sean Penn, Judge Reinhold ... ok, I guess not everyone.
11:07 - Marty. Finally. What great eyebrows.
11:09 - Jack leering from the wings again. That's odd.
11:10 - Eastwood caught yawning during Marty's speech. Give him a break, he's like 93.
11:13 - Nicholson presenting. Ok, it seems he was called to the stage (or just went there) 29 minutes early. Jack's definitely drunk.
11:14 - The Departed. I wholeheartedly agree, esp since it's the only nominated movie I saw this year.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
(Conversation at Johnny’s IceHouse, where Tasha plays hockey, after the Friday night clinic and during the ensuing annual All-Star game, where they do a Johnny's version of the kid/geek/bimbo in between periods.)
Tasha at the bar, ranting, after having consumed half a beer: How come I wasn’t chosen to be the bimbo THIS year? What, I’m not good enough to be the bimbo? What is this madness?
Teammate Marty, thinking fast: I’m sure they thought of you – probably couldn’t find you in the crowd.
T: Right. What does a girl have to do around here to be picked as the bimbo, dammit?!
M: Well, last year it was Mel...
T: So I have to dress like a ho, act giggly, and convince guys to buy me drinks?
M: That would be nice.....I mean……no, not at all! Maybe trying pulling up your shirt at the bar to show off your tattoos, like Mel does?
T, glaring: You mean my non-existent tattoos? I bake brownies, isn’t that enough? And Coach Ken picks out the bimbo – well, this year he can have one of THEM bake his birthday cake. Grr. Maybe I need to start a letter-writing campaign of support. Marty, you’d write a letter for me, saying that I should be picked as the bimbo, right?
M, looking like a deer caught in headlights: Uhhhhhhhh.....
T: And for that matter, how come I’m not chosen to be in the All-Star game?? What’s up with that? Sure I play in the C tier and these are all the Elite guys, but what the hell, I could keep up with them. Piece of cake.
M, stricken mute out of sheer terror at saying the wrong thing: ............
Random cute guy at the bar also in the clinic: Obviously they were worried that your many fans would pack the stands and bar and it would just get WAY too crowded and crazy in here.
T, suddenly beaming: Ah, that is SO true. See, someone gets it! Finally!
RCG: It’s totally obvious to anyone.
T, gazing at RCG with little hearts in her eyes like one sees in cartoons : Now YOU are a smart man......say, are you looking for a team for the summer........?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Building on Kevin's Revenge of the Nerds reference, while I imagine a lot of people may recognize him from Babe, Six Feet Under or LA Confidential, even some diehard fans of 24 may not know that James Cromwell, who plays Philip Bauer, Jack's father, also played the father of Lewis Skolnick (not Anthony Edwards, the other one) in Revenge of the Nerds.
Don't even begin to fill my email accounts with how ball-busting tough I am. I already know. Last night's 10 minute jog on the indoor track still has me a bit fatigued and my legs are thanking me for it, trust me. But I am made of steel (or at least aluminum foil) and onward I
I am thinking about incorporating Tasha's idea of the Thigh Master into my training. Sure. Tony Little's Gazelle is fine and all, but I seem to have plateaued at about 4-5 minutes. What's the point of being on this thing after that? I just get all sweaty, and who needs that?! Yuk!
On a lighter note, my new race shorts I ordered online arrived. Yes, I ordered one size smaller than I really am, so that should give me some incentive to get into race shape fast. Heck, I'll be down to XXXL in nooo time! And damn if I won't be HOT!
Ladies, did I happen to mention I'm SINGLE?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
As an aside, the Club was apparently doing this as a fundraiser for a woman with acute leukemia, which often requires a bone marrow transplant. So if you folks aren’t on the bone marrow donor list, why the hell not? If you’re ever a match, you’ll then get to brag about saving someone’s life, and WITHOUT that whole “jumping in front of a speeding train” or “running into burning building” part. For me, of course, it’s all about being a hero;
that’s how my Princessy self rolls. Donor info
As for you, Kevin, I would like to note that some of the rest of us also have excellent, photographic memories, and have a clear vision of what YOU were up to on Friday night, Mr. …….umm….Mr……….well, I’ll get back to you on that. Right now I need to go work on my Hangover Transference Modulator.
And I’ll note that hangovers are God’s way of telling you that you’re an idiot. So perhaps some of us need less reminding??
I think I just insulted myself.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
OK, well let it be known, and I know you all love me for this, but the day after our little outing. Uh huh... NO HANGOVER.
That's right people, God had blessed me with the ability to not get headaches or be terribly slowed by being completely hammered the night before. I also however, and also given the torturous ability to remember everything in complete detail even when all motor skills after said drinks are completely useless. That being said, I enjoyed - AND REMEMBERED - everything about last Friday night. So, Ms. Cradle Robber and Ms. "No, really - for Hockey...", thank you for many laughs as I watched you get trashed and do your thing.
So this week is off to a slow start, and I had a kind of mediocre workout this evening, but I think the cobwebs are finally blowing out. Had my vitals checked the other day. BP is 110/70 and resting HR is 60. OK, I'm dead. No - just all these Fluffernutters and Mountain Dew lunched starting to pay off! Damn! I've got a picture of me from 2 years ago and trust me, you don't want to se it. YIKES. So the triathlon thing... yeah. Uh oh. Hey. What's that smell? Is it hot in here? Do you smell that? Oh , hey it's just me, and I'm smokin'!
Among the Schwag collected at the Zulu parade today:
* Beads – loads and loads of beads
* Skiping rope – not sure why someone decided to hand that to me – I decided the little 5 year old next to me would make better use of it
* Roses – Yip I got handed a material rose, well not really handed, it was thrown to me, and the guy on the float was so determined to get me one, he threw 3 of them one at a time – I was going to yell interference as the gal next to me kept bumping them away...
* A Coconut – yes I got handed a Zulu coconut, by a real Zulu. more on that later.
* Garter – yip made eye contact with the 60 year old that threw it to me, I blew him a kiss.
All in all a good Schwag day, most of this was handed over to the family whom apparently store their Schwag in boxes in the garage… all this time I was wondering what people do with all of the stuff.
Mardi Gras ingredients:
Hope you had a fun Mardi Gras!
(Unfortunately no attractive young lads)
Employees must wash hands before returning to work
put soap on hands
wash for 20 seconds
turn off water
(seriously, it said "turn off water")
Monday, February 19, 2007
So in the meantime, I find myself dealing with the “crunch…crunch” of my cheez doodles that I’ve stuffed into the little pocket in the back of my running or biking jersey. And the Mountain Dew, especially when I have it in one of those MegaGinormous Big Gulp containers, tends to slosh and spill.
Don’t even get me started on running out of ketchup at my mile 2 hot dog break.
So if you could let me know when you go running, I’ll just tag along, 10 paces behind you.
Speaking of those all important carb-loaded snacks, please note that I mentioned the generic cheez doodles, NOT the so-called “O-Ke-Doke Puffed Cheezlets”, as would be the case if it hadn’t been FOUR, count ‘em FOUR days, 15 hours, and 20 minutes since I’ve written to the Jays Foods people, giving them first dibs at becoming our sponsor in the “cheesy crunchy” category. Most people would LEAP at that chance, but Jays? Noooooooooo. I’m not sure if they’re playing coy and hard to get, or just have no idea what kind of ground-floor opportunity they’re passing up, but they and the SwedishFish people are on the verge of being cut off. Oh sure, I might try a boycott or guerrilla writing campaign first, but otherwise, our love affair is through, Jays Foods.
Besides, it’s more entertaining to go with your bitter archrivals Lays, for example, so that instead of a t-shirt that says “Fueled by Jays,” I can get one that says “This body got Lay’d. Ask me how!”
One last thing. I was surfing the web, and stumbled across this picture of a nubile young guy modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch.
For some strange, inexplicable reason, it made me think of Annette. Not sure why. Odd.
Being 4 and inquisitive, I still needed something to buy so he wouldn't wonder why I had to wait wait in line and sign something if leaving empty handed. Well, the nice outdoorsey people at REI happen to carry this little treat of a book, which served my purposes well. Jack even told his mommy with great excitement when we got home "daddy got me a new book, mommy!!" Pretty savvy "I must say" (reference to Ed Grimley, see below). Of course, anyone who knows me knows that this whole feux-fitting trip was thought through well in advance, and it's also highly likely that I had looked at REI.com for little cheap items suitable for kids as the trick purchase item. Let's just say that yesterday was a unique day - I had never before said the words "hello, where can I find Curious George Goes Camping?"
Hi everyone, well I am not sure if all of you know this or not but the golden flakes in Goldschlager are there for a reason. According to my friend and extensive research and experimentation, they make small incisions in your throat so the alcohol is absorbed into your bloodstream faster.
According to Wikipedia, Goldschlager is made in Italy!!!
It is to be enjoyed in little glasses called "shot glasses"
these people love it.....
Sunday, February 18, 2007
“Listen, pal, you either put your foot in your mouth, or we’ll do it for you.”
“Yes, I brought my goggles, see?”
“No pictures, I’m sooooo shy….”
“Well, okay, just this once.”
“What ees thees? Een my country….”
“It’s pizza, you idiot. Tasty and refreshing, even I know that.”
“I’m looking chipper, but we’re still throwing him in the river later, right?”
“So Eva, I don’t understand why you keep telling me you’re too busy to go out.”
“Past my bedtime…”
“You know what, Heather, you’re okay.” “You know what, Tasha, you’re okay too.”
“Max, don’t tell her, but her goggles are on top of her head.”
“Sure, we look like fish, but the goggle placement probably explains why we have such problems with the whole swimming thing…”
“Chuck, I’m sooooo looking forward to rooming with you in SF…”
“So, about this roommate thing…”
Carolyn: “Help me someone, please help me…”
“Chuck, you got me into this. We need to talk.”
“Oh sure, I’m laughing now, but you’re a dead man.”
“Sho yea I do twiathons – yous gotsh a pwobwem wit dat?”
“Okay, okay, I admit it, this is just my way of flirting with you…”
“Ah, she fell for my ‘tired’ act. Another night, another bosom. Sweet.”
We finally learn the truth about what happened to Ed Grimley….
“Yeah, you had better keep drinking, Chuck. You’re a dead man.”
Max at least figured out the goggle thing….
“Ah, at last, at last…..”
“hey, didn’t I tell you how shy I am?”
Heather: “Behold, the parmesan cheese.” Chuck: “Well, technically from a legal standpoint, it is only cheese from the Parmigiano region in Italy that…….”
“Chuck, shut up with the legal stuff. Don’t make me have to hurt you….”
Not sure San Francisco is ready.....